I Wish

I wish and I wish and I wish.

I wish for that feeling,

That feeling of being happy,

That happiness when I was a child,

When I didn’t care,

When nothing mattered,

When I wasn’t expected,

Yet, I was trusted.

When I was honest,

When I had dreams and beliefs,

When I knew what to do, what to be.

But you made me

The great, the best, the perfect.

“Nobody’s Perfect.”

Well, I feel like nobody.

I stand in front of the mirror.

All I see is a monster

That I chose to commit to,

That I wish I didn't have to face.

It mirrors my actions and my face,

But the thoughts are still not at the same pace.

I’m in a storm, but the storm’s in my head.

I am in the tornado, and everyone points in the direction,

Like a scarecrow, waiting for their selection.

Well, maybe Dorothy’s tired of it and has now decided to choose,

To let loose.

Check box 1: Do I fit the standard?

Check box 2: Do I have pretty hair?

Check box 3: I know I won't be free.

Check boxes 4 and 5.

So many boxes piling with emotions I don't want to feel, but you made me kneel.

I am engraved into those sins you are dirtied with.

Words I didn't say,

Dragons I didn't slay.

My pen still has ink.

My paper still has space.

I keep on wishing and asking.

The paper is now folding,

Up and up and up until it forms a mount,

A mount so high that even I can't reach it.

Yet you throw me up,

Not realizing how hard I may just fall back,

How hard I may break my back.

So I wish not to be the one who does your deeds,

The one you are making me do in greed.

‘The world is brutal.’

Well, I’m part of it.

And you chose this path for me.

So I wish, and I wish, and I wish,

That I don't have to follow your order,

That I can implement a border,

Where I can freely nourish

And don't have to fulfill your wishes.